Many of you may have, or may not have, seen my face on NBC last night. Back in January, I began taking part in the casting for “The Voice,” and was lucky enough to somehow make the top 103 artists chosen out of THOUSANDS to take part in the Blind Auditions this past June. (Say what?!) So crazy right? Also, huge shout out to all the other Batman fanatics out there! I’ve been getting tweets and messages from TONS of people about how you connected with me based on our deep love for The Dark Knight. SO COOL! You want to know what’s also cool? -Get ready to freak out- Adam West (the original Batman) actually made me a good luck video that Carson showed me shortly before my audition. I was so sad that didn’t air for ya’ll to see! I’m totally not lying though. IT HAPPENED!!!!
I’m just gonna warn ya’ll now, this is probably going to be a rather lengthy post, but you’re going to want to read the whole darn thang! (And see the pictures 🙂 )
I was in LA a couple weeks for the whole crazy-unbelievable-surreal experience. When I wasn’t filming, tanning, or getting Starbucks with my friend Brittany (#teampharrell), I was thanking the big man upstairs because I thought “FINALLY, this is it! God’s giving me my big break!”
Can we all agree that the talent level this season is crazy?! Which is probably why it was so intimidating listening to all the other artists jam by the pool. Self confidence is something I’ve struggled with since forever and being around 102 other talented musicians wasn’t exactly helping, but I’ve known since I was a young girl that singing is what God’s called me to do. I prayed and prayed throughout the whole process that He would grant me the confidence I needed to get through it. (And also keep me from sweating off the makeup they applied to my arm pits all over my little black dress. -So awful.) I wasn’t overly thrilled about the song I was assigned to sing, but thought “no worries, God will make it work.” I was putting my complete trust in Him because I was so sure that my time had finally come, but I was wrong.
It was pretty obvious the look of disappointed on my face when none of the judges turned around, but at the same time it didn’t come as a complete shock or surprise. For some reason it dawned on me that I wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t figure out exactly why that was. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t tough listening to what the judges had to say without busting out the water works and getting all red and puffy. But I will say, a hug from Adam Levine made me feel MUCH better. (Yah all you chicas be jealous! :P)
I was upset and embarrassed (not because I hugged Adam Levine, because I got no chairs.) I didn’t want anyone to even know I had auditioned because I didn’t want people getting excited and then they’d see I didn’t make it. I thought my secret would be safe but noooooooo. NBC began advertising for the new season, and wouldn’t ya know! They used my face. My cover was blown!
Just. My. Luck.
Of course that led to TONS of people messaging me/texting me/calling me/facebooking me/snap chatting me… pretty much any form of communication I was being contacted through. Except Twitter….No one tweeted me. Probably because I have no followers, but holy cow now EVERYONE is tweeting me! (ya’ll rock)
ANYWAYS! I was literally hating my life, just dreading for when people saw me on the show turning no chairs. I seriously complained to my sister and boyfriend about it all the time. (Sorry guys.) I just couldn’t understand why God would put me through that.
It was a tuesday night a couple weeks ago. I was sitting in church (we go to The Belonging here in Nashville. Check it out if you’re in the area) still feeling sorry for myself when everything came into perspective. The message couldn’t’ve been more targeted towards me.
We all know the story of Joseph and his technicolor dream coat. He was seventeen when he prophesied that he would someday become someone others bowed down to. Joseph had no problem sharing his dream with his brothers, in fact he wanted them to know that someday he would reign and rule over them. He was too caught up in what glory the dream would give him versus what glory it would give God.
God gave all of us a dream. But that dream won’t ever be truly ours until we take ourselves OUT of the dream.
Joseph’s brothers became jealous of him and his dreams and sold him as a slave. He was then sent to Egypt where he eventually moved up and became the overseer to the house of Portiphar, an officer of Pharaoh. For several years Joseph was entrusted by him but after being wrongfully accused by Portiphar’s wife of trying to seduce her, Joseph was thrown in prison. He was accompanied by two other men who each began to have their own reoccurring dream. Joseph interpreted the dreams and determined the fate of both prisoners. In three days, one would regain his position as cupbearer to the Pharaoh, and the other would be killed and picked by birds. When the three days passed, each of the prisoners were come for, and their fates rang true as prophesied. As the cupbearer was released Joseph said to him “Remember me. Please tell the Pharaoh of me.”
Just the other day, I watched the cartoon movie of this story, “Joseph King of Dreams” (hey, it’s a good movie!) and there was something I noticed. When Joseph was in prison and the other prisoners spoke of their dreams needing interpretation he said “I can interpret them. It’s a gift I have.” Later, after a couple years he was released and Pharaoh asked if an interpretation of his dream could come from Joseph. This time Joseph replied “Not from me, from God.”
Before being released, Joseph was so angry at God for allowing him to be imprisoned. He was confused and didn’t understand that if God had these great plans for him why he was going through hell.
Sometimes we start to think that way. I know I do. Not that I’ve ever been sold as a slave or wrongfully accused and put in prison. But the Lord tests us. He wants to make sure our heart is in the right place, that we trust him fully regardless what happens. He wants us all to achieve our dreams and ambitions, but for Him, not for ourselves.
The second Joseph put his trust in God, he was able to fulfill his prophesy. It’s as simple as that. Trust in Him!
My experience with “The Voice” helped me grow a lot. Not just as a musician, but as a christian. You see, after walking off that stage coachless, I started to doubt God. I started to think I needed man to help me achieve my dreams instead of God. Turns out, the Lord was right to test me and I now understand why. Before the show, I had always just thought I’d stay as a coffee shop singer, someone who sang in church and in her room, but when this great opportunity arose I had complete faith that God was going to help me reach my ambitions. God wanted to see if that faith would remain even if I didn’t get a chair to turn. I was also guilty of not taking myself out of the dream. I’ve never considered myself conceded and have always given God credit for my gifts, but thinking about my success on the show was really only centered around me. Where was it going to take ME? How was it going to help ME? How many followers on Twitter would it get ME? When I should’ve been more concerned about how is it going to help me glorify God? How is it going to help me help others? How many followers will it help me get Jesus?
I just wanted to thank all of you for your endless support and love towards me and this whole experience, but I also want you to take away a lesson of your own. God knows the desires of your heart, and he will grant those to you on His time when He feels you are ready. Never doubt His abilities nor think He is incapable of allowing you to achieve your dream, for it was He that gave it to you. Like Joseph, you may be closer to your dream than you think. All you have to do is have faith.
If you want to watch my audition, here is the link on youtube! Not sure how much longer it will be up until NBC takes it down, but have a listen and enjoy the photos! 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opWsJOtvoa4&feature=youtu.be
Chandra Knudsen 
Reblogged this on Carnopolis Times and commented:
I went to high school with Chandra, and she’s a real talent. I wish her luck.
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Love your story! Sorry I was one of those people texting and facebooking you. I was so excited and still am! I remember about 2-3 years ago we talked about the voice and what you wanted to do. Keep following your dreams. You’re already great in my book babe!
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